Sadness: A loyal companion

Sadness.

A constant companion.

Loyal and honest.

Sadness. The constant feeling of ‘never enough.’

A continuous reminder of ‘Not worthy’.

An incessant memory filled with mournfulness.

Tears want to break free of your eyes but cannot. Because you have put on a facade of being and staying strong.

You want to be in control of your feelings, but the emotions are not letting you mentor them.

Sadness.

Sadness drags you in the lousiest phase of your life where you see yourself as a despondent, failing and unworthy person.

You see yourself as incompetence walking under the shadows of those who you believe are better.

You believe that you would never grow beyond your failure. You trust that you are done trying. You see things slipping out of your hands. You watch people letting you go. You look at the stars and search for light in them.

You stare in the empty void with nothing to look at, nothing to look for. You see deep outside and not a single second to be spared to look within.

You have goals, aims to achieve and even a direction. You are on the path, and you are looking for a way to go through your present feeling.

Sadness invites you in the glass sphere of vacuum with no air, no sound and no warmth. It is filled with nothing but suffocation. It gives you nothing but depression. It is an unwavering headache that delivers pain on your being.

You want to get out of it, but you are unable to. You want to try again because you cannot breathe but you are unable to. You want to prove it to yourself because you know you can do it but you are unable to.

Sadness.

Sadness does it to you. You want to fight for yourself, for the world, with the world, but you cannot. You feel all the energy making an exit and you are left with an emptiness. You slump back in your place, sink deeper and lower, wanting to be never seen by anyone!

You don’t wish to wake up again. You don’t want to succeed again. You don’t wish to move again. You lie there, staring hard into space, finding nothing. Not even your own reflection.

Sadness.

Sadness does this to you. All the happy faces around you and you feel inclined to hide away from each one those. All the smiles fill you with a sense of mortification. You want to die down all the noise of laughter; you want to ignore each call.  You want to drown in the dark pools of blue.

You lay there, lifeless. Motionless. Departed. Perishing and decaying like dead while the sadness feeds on you like a scavenger. It consumes the whole of you until you no longer live.

Sadness.

Sadness does this to you.